Wednesday, November 12, 2014

New Life In The Concrete Jungle

Well my friends, I'm happy to say that I went to New York again this past weekend, and I did in fact avoid doing a swan dive across the pavement this time. I was happier about that than is probably normal. (But then I've never claimed to be normal.)

I was visiting the New Messiah, of course, but unlike the last time, I had no half-baked, hair-brained writing ideas to discuss with her. I'm too busy drowning in research and non-fiction submissions to brainstorm any new ideas or force my poor friend to soothe my insecurities. No, I was there purely for a visit, and a celebration.

You see, the New Messiah is pregnant. I know people get pregnant and have babies all the time, but she is my dearest friend, my "favorito" (another old nickname, always pronounced with a fake Italian accent and great gusto), and I have been jumping out of my skin to hug her and admire her growing belly and just celebrate with her since I found out, over six weeks ago. Any new life is a cause for celebration, but when people you dearly love create that new life, and nurture it and nourish it and create space for it to grow, it takes on a bright, vibrant, astonishing meaning.

At my core, I've always been in awe of pregnancy, but that awe fades so easily in the course of daily life. Awe is an overwhelming emotion, a giant, breathless, expansive thing, too big for the needs and pressures of the everyday. Pregnancy is miraculous, but it's too hard to focus on the miracle. It's much easier to grow accustomed to the idea and forget the awe, especially in my day job. I see prenatal clients all the time. I deal with the aches and pains: the sore lower back and the stiff calf muscles; the frustrating symptoms of sciatic nerve compression; the exhaustion and sleeplessness and worry. I treat the symptoms and try to soothe the client, and in the process I forget the fundamental miracle of it all.

And that's what we all do with awe, by necessity. We forget it; we move past it; we let it go, and go about our lives until something grabs us by the shoulders and whispers, urgently, Look. And then we do look, and we stand back and our jaws drop and our lungs expand with wonder. That's what happened this weekend.

I looked at the New Messiah, at the beautiful swell of her stomach ("do you think I just look ambiguously fat?" she asked, eyeing herself in the mirror) and felt overcome by awe. "You're building a life," I said, "Right now, right here, your body is making a new life."

Isn't that ridiculously beautiful? Women's bodies can make new life, without any conscious thought, without any directive: the cells double and quadruple, multiplying themselves into a dizzying array of bone and muscle and skin, stomach and heart and liver. Without any intervention on our parts, our bodies can build new human beings.

I salute you, pregnant ladies. I raise my glass of wine (I did all of the drinking this weekend; the New Messiah opted for almond milk and water) and I let the awe come pouring in, and it's as dazzling and broad as the sun. It's that beautiful.

23 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post. I feel a little guilty that I breezed through all four of my pregnancies and never liked being pregnant. Not a twinge or discomfort except going to the bathroom all the darn time. Karma got me back with four C-sections. But the kiddies were worth it.

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  2. Congratulations to your friend! I've never experienced it, but I've seen my own best friend and sister pregnant and it is a beautiful thing. :)

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  3. I'll take that salute! My insomnia is going to a good cause, silly wiggly baby. =)

    Unleashing the Dreamworld

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  4. LOL! "Do you think I look ambiguously fat?" I hear that often with the moms-to-be that are in their early stages of pregnancy. My boss was one of them and she would tell our clients that she's pregnant, in case they thought she might have just "let herself go." LOL

    I'm totally with you on that "awe" factor. I feel the same way whenever someone announces their pregnancy, or hosts a baby shower. I feel so strongly, and then of course I return to my normal life and it's gone. :) Just not my time yet, I guess.

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  5. Congrats to your favorito! Here's me wishing her a healthy, happy pregnancy. May it be easy and filled with great joy.

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  6. It's pretty damn amazing, no doubt about it. :)

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  7. I salute you ladies for being able to do that, because no man can...

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  8. You are still enraptured by the weekend and that is wonderful! You spent time with your favourite friend and could see her in full baby mode. Since it happens dauily and many times in one day, you are right, we take it for granted but I commend the women who can carry this bundle, deal with all the crap that comes with it and then have to push out a watermelon from a tiny hole-ouch! That is wondrous..even though i did not put it in a great way...you will do much better when the baby comes and then you can spoil him or her. men could not handle it by the way:)

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    1. I thought you put it perfectly, actually, right down to the wince-inducing description of birth!! LOL. And yes, I think you're right about men... ;)

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  9. The creation of life IS beautiful! Congrats to your New Messiah!! :)

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  10. Wow, Liz...just, wow. Beautiful post. And you're so right about letting awe just wash right over us. I want to let it grab me by the shoulders more often. So happy for your friend!

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  11. This is really, really true. There's wonder and magic all around us, and so much of it becomes part of our daily lives or gets bound to some sort of annoyance and inconvenience that we just plain stop noticing it. The universe is ridiculously awesome, and yet, most of the time we hardly notice it. I'm glad you saw some of this with your friend, though - sometimes that's all it takes, just one thing to help see just how amazing life can be. ^_^

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    1. "There's wonder and magic all around us" - YES. This is why I love fantasy, and why I write magical realism :)

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  12. What a sweet post. I have a coworker who is due in about two weeks and it's so fun to see her belly grow with that promise of baby. It's been 19 years plus since I did that and, sadly, I've really forgotten the awe, though I felt more like an alien host at the time. LOL. Just glad I did it young. Now my boy is about to fly off to Australia and it feels really weird to know I'll be so far from a boy that I made in my own body. Life is trip for sure!

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  13. We do forget. I get that way with my job sometimes, too. But I've watched hundreds of thousands of births, and it always touches me on some level.

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  14. congrats to your friend! Pregnancy is something I know, personally, I could never handle so I don't plan on ever going for it--I'm always in awe of any woman that has children!

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  15. Congrats to your friend! You know, I just had my beautiful little baby 8 weeks ago and she is growing so fast! It was my first pregnancy, and I have to tell you that it was super uncomplicated. I didn't have any aches and pains, no cravings, no morning sickness. Only a severe case of pregnancy brain that left me incapable of deciding what I wanted to eat on most days. I was very blessed (and still am!). Sometimes I look at my daughter in awe, thinking, "But you were just in my tummy!" I'm sure your friend is super excited at all the joy that is coming her way =)

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  16. Pregnancy truly is a miracle! I salute all women who go through pregnancy and childbirth. It sounds incredibly exciting and scary, all at the same time!

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  17. This would make a great Mother's Day post. I can't imagine giving birth to anything but stories. That's painful enough.

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  18. This post has me tearing up! It really is such an amazing miracle. I think sometimes the awe becomes too much---more than our human hearts can contain and minds can conceive. Maybe that's why our brains so easily slip back to focusing on the mundane, the understandable.

    Your favorito is very lucky to have a friend like you who cherishes her so much. Just wait till you meet that baby!

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    1. Oh duh, I completely forgot about the thing that sent me here -- you won an eBook of Legendary by LH Nicole (a YA Arthurian adventure) at my Wisdom of the Creative Realms event. To claim your prize, message me at elson.nicki@gmail.com to let me know which format you prefer (mobi or ePub).

      Congrats & thanks for sharing your wisdom. :)

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  19. Hey!! Thank you. That was the nicest kick in the head I've ever gotten. It's been hard lately to find the wonder. The joy. The unadulterated awe. You made me live it right there with you. So, thanks.

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  20. What a stunning post, Liz! You seem to be glowing in awe for your favorito (I might have to snatch this word from you:). It's amazing how the day job numbs our ability to truly appreciate the aweness of what surrounds us. I've been a nanny/assistant for a decade now for very wealthy and demanding people. I always said I wanted at least 3 children but I'm exhausted from taking care of other people's kids all these years!!
    Still, I love the beauty in babies and children. They are our future and it's amazing how they come about:)

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