It's the first Wednesday of the month, so it's time for The Insecure Writers! The IWSG is an online group created by Alex J. Cavanaugh for writers. You, too, can join us anytime!Happy IWSG, everyone. I hope you had a great, food-full, friend-full, grateful Thanksgiving, and have recovered from your
I have something to confess today. This is hardly new: I'm Jewish, so I often feel guilty. Weekly, in fact. I wake up and feel that squirming in my stomach, and know that it's one of the days when I'll have to figure out why I'm feeling guilty. Sometimes, there's an actual cause, but a lot of times, it's just general life-guilt. When that happens, I root around in my personal pile of vices, minor misdemeanors, mistakes, and small faults, until I come up with one I can confess about. Since today is IWSG day, I thought it was a fitting time for this particular confession, which I've been putting off for a couple of months:
I'm not working on my novel.
I know, I know, I'm sorry! I'm beating my chest in guilt and repentance. I spent an entire month talking about it and pushing it and trying to get everyone intrigued about it, and then I continued complaining about it and posting about it and whining about research, and now I'm telling you it's sitting in a file on my computer, collecting virtual dust.
Here's what happened: I got distracted. No, it's really true. I was having trouble querying Cloudland, and I realized a few things: 1) I wanted to do something (anything) to make the querying process easier, and thought a few publishing credits couldn't hurt; 2) writing novels takes a really long time (if you're me, that is); 3) so does building a writing career (that includes getting paid); and 4) I'm impatient. Really impatient.
So I decided to change my approach, and took a creative non-fiction class. And I loved it. I started working on writing, editing, and polishing personal essays; on researching places to submit; on compiling lists of places to submit each piece; and then on submitting. Wash, rinse, repeat.
It's fun and time-consuming, and for a while, I tried to rotate working on non-fiction and fiction, but it turns out, I'm really bad at switching tasks like that. Also, to be honest, I'm enjoying the non-fiction. And not enjoying the fiction. Much. Or at all.
So last month I put my novel aside, and I'm leaving it there.
FOR NOW! For now. Not for always.
I'm a firm believer that in order to be a writer, you have to write, no matter what, but I'm also a firm believer that if it's not any fun, not even a little bit, you probably need a break.
So I'm taking one.
Whew, I feel better.
Don't worry, everyone. I will get back to the novel. Just...not right now.
Do you write anything besides fiction? Do you have more than one job? How do you juggle everything?
I need to take a class one of these day. Although, I have to say, my CP has been an awesome teacher. Don't be too hard on yourself. You deserve a break!!
ReplyDeleteElsie
Good for you! I don't write non-fiction outside of my blog (does that even count?), but I do write code. I spend all day in front of a computer, typing away at my keyboard, and sometimes, I don't get a single word written toward my novel (or the novella I've decided I need to dedicate time to). Writing should be about passion, and I say you should definitely pursue your non-fiction passion. I'll still miss not getting to read your novel, but I would much rather hear that you're thriving.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck with your break. :)
Thanks, Loni :) I WILL finish it - just not right at this moment!
DeleteI can see how switching between fiction and non-fiction could be tough. It's great to have another avenue to focus on. You'll probably slide back to the novel when it feels like the right time. Writing non-fiction is a great way of getting your name out there
ReplyDeleteI'm not working on my novel either. During this time of the year it's hard to find the time! Good for you for taking a creative non-fiction writing class though. In my opinion, learning and writing something makes up for not working on a WIP.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you're moving forward in your writing career, it's all good. Maybe a break from your WIP will be productive, both now and when you get back to it. :)
ReplyDeleteIWSG #151 until Alex culls the list again.
Congrats on finding a path that brings the fun back to your writing. I write nonfiction articles for the publications of the writing groups I belong but most of my writing in fiction.
ReplyDeleteIt takes me a long time to write, too. I'm amazed at some authors who can whip out a book every few months! And I'm also impatient. I get impatient with myself (for not writing faster and better) and then impatient with the submission process, etc. I don't feel guilty about it, but I am aware of this as a personality flaw.
ReplyDeleteI usually have a hard time focusing on multiple things. I haven't worked on my poetry in forever because I'm always focused on my novel. It's tough putting a novel aside and even tougher getting back to it, but hopefully you'll be able to look at it with some fresh eyes and and a new perspective from working on something else.
ReplyDeleteI'm taking a break too, and I'm not writing anything else, either. I'm just not writing for the moment. Honestly, I needed the break, and I know I'll be back stronger than ever. You know what's best for you. Don't ever feel guilty for doing it. Easier said than done. I feel a bit guilty too, but every time I do I go take a nap. It's a win/win situation.
ReplyDeleteI used to write technical reports for work and back when I was a graduate student, but I never enjoyed it. But now that I've discovered fiction writing, I'll never go back. Take a break for a while and work on your writing skills. You'll come back all refreshed and with a fresh outlook on your story.
ReplyDeleteThe the non-fiction is what you enjoy, then ride that wave for now.
ReplyDeleteI can't focus on more than one project at a time either.
Now you, poor thing, need to go have a hug! OK I throw one your way:) In anything creative, one needs to be in that moment and if you are not then it will not turn out well so you have to place it away for now. Enjoy what you want to do not what you feel you have to do. If you enjoy non-fiction and you feel excited with it then go for it and enjoy every bit of it! I wonder about guilt. I have often heard and said "Guilt is a useless emotion" If it is useless why do we have it? I know we can beat ourselves up over something and it doesn't do anyone any good but then why do we feel that way and some have no guilt? The people who do actually commit a crime and should feel the guilt usually don't. I just wonder about that feeling which i hate but we all (most) suffer from it. My 2 cents:) Now go enjoy what you like to do!
ReplyDeleteOh thanks, Birgit, you always give the best virtual hugs!! You're right: guilt IS a useless emotion and yet we all have it. I don't think it makes it useful, though - it just makes it something we all have to learn to do without. Guilt is different from empathy and compassion, which are what we really need to not commit crimes! I'll keep my empathy and get rid of guilt any day :)
DeleteLiz, it takes me a very long time to write a novel. I used to stress about that but now I just accept it. Besides, what can I do about it anyway? I took a creative nonfiction class in college but I was no good at it. I just don't have the imagination to write nonfiction:) Whatever path you decide to take, I know you'll be fine. Fiction or nonfiction, you're a great writer.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Liz. I have a hard time going back and forth between projects. It's been awhile, but I did some creative nonfiction awhile back, and absolutely loved it. It's the only thing I have published, so far, so the relatively quick boost of writing something short and getting it accepted did loads for my self-confidence.
ReplyDeleteI hope it gives you a boost as well. And writing is writing. What you learn in writing creative nonfiction will carry over to your fiction when you come back.
Thanks, Jenni, that's exactly what I'm hoping. I'm glad to hear it worked for you, too!
DeleteI understand how you feel about the novel writing process. I am the Queen of "Takes forever to write a novel" and the Grand Master of Taking Writing Breaks. I work full time and I'm school, so I'm a constant juggling act. That's cool that you found another outlet in creative non-fiction. I took a creative writing class a few years ago and we touched on creative NP. I enjoyed it, too.
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm Catholic, so I'm afflicted w/ a very similar guilt thing, hehe.
ReplyDeleteBut you've got nothing to feel guilty about with this. You're writing. That's what's important, as you say. I've seen your passion for your novel, so I know you'll get back to it---when the time is right.
Non-fiction still counts. :P But seriously, you're still writing, and that's what matters. I've set aside more projects than I can count - I'd say more than I've started, if that wasn't physically impossible. So there's no shame in saying "I'll work on this later", especially if you have something else to work on that's calling to you more strongly.
ReplyDeleteLike Nicki, I'm Catholic too, and always guilt ridden about one thing or another! It sounds like you're doing the right thing for YOU at the moment. My I also suggest writing short stories and entering them into Anthology books. Check out Crushing Heart and Black
ReplyDeleteButterfly website. They have many Anthologies in the works. Sometimes we need a break from the long novel. Good Luck writing Non-Fiction!
Whew! I bet your confession feels really good to get off your chest. Now you can stop beating yourself up about it and just write whatever your soul calls you to write. Listen to your soul. That's what I try to do whenever I'm beating myself up. If your soul calls for non-fiction, then that's what you're meant to be doing. Fiction will call for you when it's ready.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to juggle everything. It's something I'm trying to figure out myself.
ReplyDeleteAwe...
ReplyDeleteGood for you to realize you need a break. It's a hard thing to give up, a novel you've spent time on, but if you found something that you love even more (and you seem to not like fiction writing lately) then there's no real guilt to have. I find it courageous to write personal essay, to put yourself out there. Bravo!
Wanna know a secret? I've got a full novel that's been sitting on the back burner for a couple of years now. It can sit for awhile. I also had a change of direction after it (it sucks, anyway...a NaNo novel) and worked on some CNF.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of CNF...try this website:
https://www.creativenonfiction.org/
There are submissions there you can try. Also, do NOT pay for the subscription by itself! If you submit a piece (I think there's a $20 fee...I did a contest...can't remember)...anyway, for an additional $5 you can subscribe and receive four issues a year. Good magazine. But, they're $10 EACH if you buy them independently or subscribe. So go the other route!
Part of being a writer in today's world is laying groundwork, too. Consider your stage of development right now as part of that. That's how I look at it (because that's what I've been doing, too).
Thanks for your friendship. I want to see you at the next UnCon! And...Write On! :)
Cool, thanks so much, Mike! I'll go check it out. And I appreciate the tip about subscribing :)
DeleteI would LOVE to be at the next UnCon!
Liz, don't beat yourself up on this one. I blogged about taking breaks several posts ago because I have been going through the same thing. My novel has been on the backburner ever since I started promoting my children's book and author visits earlier this year. It's tough juggling everything and I firmly believe in taking breaks in order to enjoy our passion rather than not look forward to pursuing it.
ReplyDeleteI love how you decided to change your approach while taking a creative non-fiction class. I've always wanted to learn more about writing non-fiction. Someday... maybe=)
Besides struggling with two brands of writing, I also have a daytime job. I work from noon until evening so when I get home, my brain is squash. I try to get as much done in the mornings but sometimes, life and my new kitty cat gets in the way!
Great post!
ugh, I know. The day jobs are killer. If I didn't have a day job, I would get SO MUCH DONE. Sigh. Someday, for both of us, I hope!
Delete"I'm not working on my novel."
ReplyDeleteMe- "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
later- "So last month I put my novel aside, and I'm leaving it there."
Me- "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Then- FOR NOW! For now. Not for always.
Me ::very disgruntled:: "harumph. Okay."
I completely understand guilt. Nearly everything I do is motivated from guilt. So don't let me add to yours with my little meltdown whining about your book. I just want you to know that you're an awesome writer. Fiction or nonfiction. And to keep at it.
After your break, of course. ;P
I KNOW! I'm a stinker!!!! I'm sorry. Thanks for your (disgruntled) understanding, though - and for the support. I do appreciate it, even if I don't deserve it. (See? GUILT! ;) )
DeleteLiz, I am totally on the same page. It's so easy to feel guilty for the littlest things when it comes to our writing: when we have a bad writing session, when we miss a day, a week and more! I feel bad when I stop after having such great momentum. I feel bad when I have too much time on my hands and the last thing I want to do is write. :) But I too agree, that writing should be fun (more times than not). We're not always going to like, because there will be days we "have" to do it, but most times, the process should be exhilarating. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up! You have to take a break to recharge the creative well. Your book will be waiting for you when you come back, and you'll probably be a better writer for having taken a breath.
ReplyDeleteThis post could have been written by me, minus the non fic part (I could never write non fic well!) I too, am Jewish, and I too, receive a hefty helping of Jewish Guilt this time of year (typically served up by grandparents, with a steaming side of Why-Aren't-You-Married-Yet Shame) and I always pile extra on myself with my writing. I am SO guilty when I don't write and I've been having a brutal time with it this past few weeks. It'll get flowing again soon!
ReplyDelete"Why-Aren't-You-Married-Yet Shame" - LOL!! Omg, totally, yes. It doesn't get better when you do get married, by the way - then it just turns into "why-aren't-you-pregnant-yet shame".
DeleteWell done on finding a forward moving path.
ReplyDelete