Happy June, everyone! Here in
Sigh. That's New England, peeps.
BUT that's not why I'm feeling insecure. Irritated and chilly, perhaps, but not insecure.
No, the reason that I'm super-charged on insecurity this month is that my life is on the verge on changing, irrevocably, forever and ever. You might say it's on the verge of exploding. You might say that and many other shocked and shocking things, because - wait for it - at some point this summer, I am going to become a parent.
Nope, not pulling your leg. My wife is expecting twins - TWINS! - in August. Or, as is the case with twins - TWINS! - whenever the hell they decide to get here. Personally. I'm rooting for full-term, late August, and I do tell them this every night, but I have a feeling this might just be my first exercise in parental futility.
Yes, this is why I've taken a few protracted blogging breaks. Yes, this is why I gave away mountains of books, killing a small piece of my soul in the process (oh I do so love exaggeration.)
And yes, this is why I am freaking the bleep out right now.
There are the standard parent insecurities (not just, will I screw up my kids? But really, how badly will I screw them up?) plus the twin - TWIN! - insecurities (how will I ever have enough hands to feed/clothe/bathe my children? Will I ever sleep, ever ever again?) and on top of all of that, there are the writer-parent insecurities (is it possible to be creative when I'm a sleep-deprived-writer-zombie? Will I have to wait until I'm geriatric to start writing again?)
There are so many insecurities. Because hello, twins! TWINS!
I am also of course over the moon, overjoyed, over-ecstatic, over-excited, and over-many-other-things. But this is the Insecure Writers Support Group, not the Happy Writers Support Group. Who needs a support group to be happy, anyway?
Truth be told, I am both joyful and insecure-ful...which is probably just about right. Oh yes, and if I suddenly and inexplicably disappear from the blogosphere for a few weeks, well, now you'll know why.
How do you juggle family/writing time? Were you able to be creative when your kids were little? What are you IWSG-ing about this month?